A Sisterly Talk - Part 2

Ella started making designs in the snow as she tried to form words. "It's just...things have been awkward ever since Leggy told me......you know. And I don't know how to fix it. I want him to....." Ella shook her head, dismissing the thought. "I want our friendship to go back to normal."

Rosriel nodded silently, "You are sure of that?"

Ella looked at her hands again.  "Yes, I am sure."

Rosriel paused.  "Then I think you need to tell him so."

"I don't believe telling him will accomplish anything. I'm sure he knows. I'm sure it's what he wants as well. It's just...not possible. Things are too awkward now. We've both said and done things...I don't think we can go back to how things were. At least, I don't know how we could."

"It would be difficult," Rosriel agreed thoughtfully.  "Well then, if what you really want is to go back to being just friends, then I honestly think that you should talk to him about it, just so that you both know what you are both thinking and there aren't any misunderstandings.  It will be awkward, but if you don't want more than friendship then talking it over will be the best for both parties.  Don't you think?"

Ella was silent again, thinking. Suddenly her face contorted and tears sprang to her eyes.

"Ella, what is it?" Rosriel's face grew concerned and she put her arms around Ella.  Ella continued to cry.  "Ella, what is wrong?"

Ella tried to stop the tears. When she regained her composure enough she whispered, "That isn't what I want. But I don't think it's possible to get what I want anymore. I blew my chance."

"Ella, what on earth do you mean?"

"I love him. I don't want just friendship with him. But when he told me he loved me, I flatly denied him. I...I just can't be the one to tell him....and I know he'll never tell me again." Ella sighed. "He's probably found someone new, anyway. I wouldn't blame him."

Rosriel couldn't help but laugh, "Ella, where would he find someone new?  He has been with the company this whole time!"

"There are other girls in this company," Ella replied wistfully.

Rosriel hugged her sister, "The only way you will ever know is to tell him you love him.  If he has in fact moved on, then you can deal with the hurt and get over it.  If he still loves you, then so much the better!  But if you remain silent, then you are forcing both yourself and him to continue on in this endless wheel of akwardness around each other and pain."

Ella shook her head. "I can't."

Roseriel opened her mouth to say something, then shut it.  She could tell that Ella couldn't be pushed any further.  "All right," she said quietly.  "You don't need to do anything before you are ready to."

Suddenly their conversation was cut short by a foreboding howl.

Rosriel and Ella

A Sisterly Talk

First, I must apologize dear readers, for tormenting you so cruelly with our last post.  I will confess, when I was writing it with Ella, I came up with the wonderfully evil idea.  But if you must kill anyone, kill Ella, for it was she who pulled out the knife and forced me to kill myself... er, forced me to have the idea for Ella to kill myself.
Anyhow, here is what really happened.


The snow had started to fall fast and thick by the time the company had made it halfway up the mountain and camped for the night.  Rosriel had watched her sister closely the whole day.  She could sense that something was bothering Ella, but she couldn't tell what.  I must talk to her about it, tonight after everyone else is asleep.

After dinner, Rosriel waited impatiently as slowly, one by one, the rest of the company wrapped themselves in blankets and lay down.  Carefully, Rosriel eased herself up and crept over to where her sister lay.

Rosriel gently touched Ella's shoulder and whispered her name. Ella did not move. She started shaking her a little. Still, no response.

Rosriel grunted and looked around, trying to think of a new tactic. Snow! Of course! She grabbed a handful and dropped it onto Ella.

Ella woke up with a gasp, sat straight up and pulled out her knife.  "Who is there?"

Rosriel jumped back, hissing, "Ella!  Be careful with that thing."

Ella relaxed, recognizing her Rosriel's voice.  "Rosriel, it is only you.  You startled me!"

Rosriel moved closer, "I am sorry for startling you," she said apologetically.  "But you would not wake up."

Ella laughed quietly, "Well, I am certainly awake now."  Her face took on an alarmed expression.  "Is something wrong?"

"No," Rosriel shook her head, "nothing wrong in general.  But I sense that something is wrong with you, and I wanted to talk to you about it.  I did not realize that you were asleep already."

Ella raised a disbelieving eyebrow at Rosriel. "Do I usually need snow pelted on me just to get my attention? I think not."

"Ella...tell me what's bothering you."

Ella was silent for a moment, seeming to ponder. Finally she said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Rosriel sighed impatiently.  "Ella, there is something that is bothering, I can see it in your face.  Why won't you talk to me about it?"

"There is nothing wrong with me."

"Yes, there is!  I know there is!"  Rosriel took Ella's hand.  "I only want to help you.  Can't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you," Ella hesitated.

Rosriel paused, then said softly.  "Is it about Legolas?"

Ella stared at Rosriel, glanced at Legolas to be certain he was still asleep, and nodded slightly. She stared at her hands. "Is it that obvious?" she whispered.

I knew it.  Rosriel shook her head, "No, I don't think that anyone else has noticed," she paused and Ella looked relieved.  "Except for perhaps Legolas."

Ella looked up, slightly pale.  "Do you really think so?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Rosriel said thoughtfully.  "At least, I don't think he knows that you are troubled about him, exactly.  But why don't you tell me just exactly what trouble you are having."

Ella started making designs in the snow as she tried to form words. "It's just...things have been awkward ever since Leggy told me......you know. And I don't know how to fix it. I want him to....." Ella shook her head, dismissing the thought. "I want our friendship to go back to normal." 

 

 

Rosriel and Ella

Warning: Stubborn Elf (handle with care)

I am going to kill that elf. Or I would if he had succeeded in his little scheme. When I slipped away from the group this morning, I found Legolas waiting for me.

"Tell me everything you know about your past," he said.

"And good morning to you too," I said, kneeling down and beginning my morning routine.

He said nothing.

"Determined, this morning, I see."

"Do you want my help?"

"Yes. Sorry. We've been through this before...I know nothing."

"Remind me how much nothing you know."

"All right," I said. "Elrond told me I was brought to Rivendell by a woman he did not know. She asked that I be taken care of, but would tell him nothing about my past. In Elrond's mind that meant that my past was something I ought to be ashamed of. I don't believe that though. I have to trust that my family was or is good and noble. The woman who left me was not a relative. That's all I know."

"Well, that and the fact that you have--"

"Yes, that. If it means anything."

"Ella, maybe it does. Maybe...maybe someone along with us can help you! They come from all over. Perhaps they have heard something."

"And perhaps not. I'd rather not have my hopes dashed, Legolas. Not again."

"But if we don't ask, we'll never know."

I sighed.

Without warning, Legolas grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the others. "Everybody wake up!" he yelled.

I screamed and released myself from his grip. He wanted them to see me before my preparations were finished! He wanted me to reveal my secret! I couldn't let him. A part of me said that maybe he was right, and it would help, but a larger part reminded me of what had happened in the past, and I had no desire to return to that. I ran from him, crying.

My tears are beginning to dry now, but I'm not yet ready to return to camp. I have been humiliated. And I know not what they may have seen. They were sleepy, but some did open their eyes. Perhaps I was just a blur, as I am hoping, but perhaps not.

Oh That Odious Dior

As we were drying ourselves by the fire, I sat down next to Dior. Some members of our group looked disgusted, some confused, but I ignored them. This feuding needed to stop.

"Hello, Ella," Dior said. "Wouldn't you rather sit beside your friends?"

I smiled. "You're my friend too, Dior."

"You do realize I'm a dwarf, right?"

I laughed.

"So...friends."

"Yes, Dior."

"So what do you want?"

I sighed. "Well..."

I explained how I wished he would get along with my other friends, and how perhaps now that the others had had their fun there were no hard feelings on that side. He didn't give me any real promises, but I have high hopes for a brighter future.

Legolas refused to let me walk again until my ankle was completely healed--which in his mind meant until I could walk without limping. Well, I'm able to walk without limping now. Don't tell, but my ankle isn't fully healed yet though. I couldn't stand another day in that embarrassing chair. I mean, it was sweet of Legolas and all, and I wouldn't have been able to continue our journey without it, but even so. It seemed like I was looking for sympathy, and I wasn't. So we left the chair by the side of the road, for anyone who may need or want such a contraption.

A Possible Lead...

I woke up on the cranky side of the bed this morning.

"Do you always wake up this early?" I asked, disguising my pleasure at seeing Legolas with pseudo annoyance.

"Only when I have something worth getting up for," he answered.

"I don't think I want to know what you mean by that." I said.

"How is your ankle doing?"

"Good, actually. I think I can walk on it now. I would like to."

"No," he said. "I don't think you ought to try just yet. I mean...you may make it worse."

I sighed. "Stop treating me like a baby; it'll be fine."

He didn't look convinced, but didn't press the matter. "Ella...we're in good company here."

"I know," I said, wondering what his reason for bringing that up was. A sudden chill went down me as the thought of him confessing his love for a fellow traveler went through my mind.

"The best, one could even argue," he continued. "Or close to the best--you know I'll always say Gimli's company is top."

"Legolas," I said. Best to get this over with soon. "Do you have a point?"

He smiled. "Indeed I do. Hear me out. We are with good people here. No one will hurt you. I think it's time you let your secret out."

I was relieved that was all he wanted, but was still stubborn on this matter. "It isn't a matter of when the right time is, Legolas--because there never will be a 'right time.' My secret is not something I ever wish to be revealed. You know that."

"But Ella--look. Elinor has it too. As does Wyn."

"They're hobbits. I'm an elf. There's a tiny bit of a difference."

"But listen, Ella. Maybe you're a hobbit."

I stared at him. He looked serious, so I stifled my giggle. "There's a slight problem
with your theory. I look nothing like a hobbit. I look like an elf. Oh, maybe because I am an elf."

"What I mean is, you could be part hobbit. Ella, don't you see? I can't imagine why I didn't think of it before. This could be why finding your family has been so difficult--I've been looking in the wrong places!"

I brightened. "Really? You think this could help?"

Legolas smiled. "Definitely."

~Ella Ellessanderil, 61 miles

An Injury

Ever since I surprised the others (not to mention myself) by falling out of that tree, I've felt a dull pain coming from my right ankle, which is the ankle most of my weight fell on. Since I could still walk without limping, I decided to ignore it. Possibly that was not a good choice. This morning, as I was walking alongside Legolas and learning what all has happened in Mirkwood since last I visited, I felt a very sharp pain in my ankle and (rather ungracefully, I'm embarrassed to admit) I fell into Legolas' arms.

Out of the goodness of their hearts, the others have fashioned a chair for me. Legolas has taken it upon himself to push me around in it. I think he feels somewhat responsible for this, since it was, after all, his eyes that caused me to lose my balance. I of course would not mind this attention from my dear friend, if not for all the viscous looks I have been receiving from certain other young ladies on this journey.

Through my (unskilled, but satisfactory) evaluation of the ankle, I believe it is only sprained, and not broken. In only a few short weeks I should be walking again, which will be a great relief to me, and I have high hopes it will quell the anger of my fellow travelers.

(I thought I should give you all an explanation for why I will most likely be lagging behind you in the miles department in the coming weeks--for those who don't know, I actually did sprain my ankle this week)

~Ella Ellessanderil, 60 miles

Early Morning Meeting

As is my habit (for reasons I am choosing to keep secret), I was up before the rest today. I began my daily routine, hiding myself within the woods, but paused when I sensed an onlooker. To my relief, it was only Legolas. He had known my secret almost as long as Elrond had, so I didn't care that he was reminded of it today.

"You still do that, I see."

"Of course," I said, continuing my preparations.


"Ella, people will love and accept you the way you are!"

"They didn't."

"I did."

"I know, but...nobody else did."

"We were young then. The young always pick on those who are different."

"Speaking of picking on others..." I started.

"Why do I get the feeling you're going to turn this conversation off of you and onto me?"

"Um...because you know me well?" I offered. "But listen, Legolas...about Lira...and a certain ranger..."

"Yes, I would like to speak to you about that as well," Lady Rosriel said, stepping up to us. I was glad I had finished getting ready before she arrived.

~Ella Ellessanderil, 40.5 miles

Some Added Excitement

Lady Rosriel's news yesterday, mixed with my excitement, has kept my spirits high this day. Last night was incredibly eventful for me (and this morning was for the others). The past few evenings, when others were asleep, I have kept on alert, searching for the elusive eyes. I knew I hadn't imagined them, and something told me whoever it was was still with us, so I continued my search. At last (though it had only been a few nights, my spirit was already waning), my search was rewarded.

I held my sword at the ready. Samdo rolled over in his sleep and I froze. I didn’t want to worry the others—or arouse their suspicions—with my sneaking around. Looking up into the trees, I thought I saw some movement come from one of them. I inched closer. Bad idea.

Whatever it was had now been alerted to my presence. The movement stopped and I knew they had leapt to another tree. If I could just find which one…

“Stop following me,” a voice said. It was firm, but not malicious.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“You know who I am. Is this a friendly group, or are you being held against your will?”

The voice did sound familiar. Very familiar. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought it was… “Show yourself,” I said.

They complied.

“Legolas?!?”

Apparently, while I had been on my way to Mirkwood, he had been on his way to Rivendell, and both of us had been sidetracked. Even with his excellent vision, he couldn’t tell if I had been elf-napped or if I joined on my own, and was waiting for a chance to free me in case it had been the former.

I introduced him to the others this morning (those he had not already met), and he will be joining us for the rest of our journey.

~Ella Ellessanderil, 29 miles

Making Friends

I was so pleased the fellowship didn’t kick me out. As much as I would enjoy seeing Legolas again, I now have my heart set on continuing with this group on their journey…our journey. I had often wondered what things might have been like had I been allowed to accompany Frodo and the others, and now I shall get a taste of that.

I have never felt so…wanted…before. Though Elrond and others in Rivendell were always friendly, I always knew that to them I was an outsider. I didn’t belong there, but there was no place that I did belong. I’m beginning to feel that here, in this company, is where I am meant to be. It’s a good feeling.

There hasn’t been much chance for me to think about the eyes I saw, nor did I mention them to the others. I have not seen them since. I was spooked, but I believe it was more out of surprise than out of feeling threatened. There is something about the eyes that makes me think they do not belong to someone who means to harm us. Perhaps it is just another onlooker, as I was not long ago.

Tonight as the others are resting, I will try to find the creature. I am glad I brought my weapons along. If it is an unwelcome intruder, I will be rid of it, and if it is someone who would be welcomed, I will introduce him or her to the others.

I noticed one of my companions was only a couple steps’ distance from me, so I caught up to her.

“Miss Raewyn?” I said.

“Oh, Miss Ella, call me Wyn.”

“All right, Wyn. And you can call me Ella. I thought I overheard that you are a relation of Legolas…is that right? He is a good friend of mine, which is why I ask.”

~Ella Ellessanderil, 26 miles