They were so beautiful and kind, these people. I wanted to let myself be free...to get to know them and let them know me. But I was afraid...afraid of all that I'd been running from...afraid that if I let myself love them that I would get hurt or something worse...that they would get hurt loving me.

We finished packing our bags and waved farewell to Dior as he set off for the Mines of Moria.  I shivered in the chill wind that had started blowing and felt my face flush slightly.  If it hadn't been for my running off, we could have been to the mines by now.  I shrugged.  Good had come of it, after all, I'd found Edroliel and helped her.

As we began walking, I made my way over to Ella.  She looked up at me briefly as I came up beside me and I caught side of her expression.  "Ella, is something wrong?"

She sighed, "No... not really."

"Ella," I pressed, "Something is wrong.  Please, you can talk to me about it."

Ella opened her moth to speak, then shut it again.  "I - I guess I will talk to you tonight."

I nodded and changed the topic of conversation as Legolas walked up beside us.  I saw Ella glance towards him and guessed why she had chosen to remain silent.  My heart ached for her.  Oh Ella, can't you tell that he loves you?  Why won't you talk to each other?

~ Rosriel

Ella:

I gathered my belongings, glad for something to keep my mind and hands occupied. We would move on, as planned.

"Can I help?"

I didn't look up; I'd recognize the voice anywhere. "You have your own things to pack," I muttered.

"I finished." Without waiting for an acceptance, Legolas began collecting my scattered items.

I hadn't explained my tears to him...he hadn't asked me to. But he had to be curious. I felt foolish now. Why hadn't I pulled away? Stop it, Ella. What's done is done. It cannot be changed. You've just got to move forward. Yes. Move forward. Literally, we would be. Figuratively, I needed to. If only I could convince my heart to, as well.

Where to Next?

The day after Miss Silmarien and all the rest joined back up with our Fellowship, we held a meeting to decide where we would be headin' to next.

"As leader of this company," Elenatintil spoke.  "I say that we follow our intention of tracing the footsteps of the original Fellowship and make the trip up to Redhorn Pass."

Vila raised her hand.  "But what about the feast in Moria, that the Dwarves are holding?  It's already been quite a while since Dior met up with us with the invitation."

Elenatintil turned to Dior.

"First of all," Dior glanced sidelong at Vila, "the invitation was for the royalty, the nobles of Rivendel, the Greenwood and Lothlorien, not annoying little elves like you."

I stiffed a chuckle as both Lira and Vila shot glares at Dior. 

"Though, of course, you are all invited," Dior continued.  "As for the matter of getting there, it was expected in advance that it would take some time to send out the invitations to the elves and allow them to travel to the Mines.  Also, as we are not all that far from the Mines, it would be perfectly fine if your company was to continue on their way before going to the mines."

Elenatintil nodded.  "Thank you, Dior."  She paused.  "Our company?  You will not be coming with us?"

Dior shook his head.  "I will travel on, and inform the others of your imminent arrival."

"Very well then."  Elenatintil looked around the group.  "Any more questions?  Objections?"

There were none and we prepared to break camp.

~  Samdo

Just so we know where we are...

Almost to the feet of the Redhorn. Camp during day of Jan. 11. Gandalf and Aragorn debate path. Wind turns NW. Black clouds form during afternoon. 284 miles. 34 mi last location.

~ Rosriel

Legolas:

I watched Ella walk to the edge of camp. Though I was too far away to see them, I knew tears had arrived. Why, Ella? Why won't you let me comfort you? I frowned. I respected Ella and wanted to honor her decisions, but...

Turwethiel had slipped away, needing time alone after our talk. I had no reason not to do what my heart told me I should. None but my pride.

I walked to her. "Ella?"

Ella:

He came. I could always count on him to come when I needed him. It's one of the many things I love about him. I turned to face him. He'd seen me cry before; I didn't care if he knew.

A look of something more comforting than sympathy crossed his face, and he wrapped me in his arms. My heart beat frantically, and my will split in two. Part wanted to stay in his arms forever; the other to pull away. Surely he could feel me shaking, could hear my heartbeat, could guess the reason......

I sighed. Oh dear, Nes, you really haven't got it bad....see? Look at all these lovesick people.... That made me giggle. If only they would tell each other! It would all turn out then!

I wonder how Mama and Papa are...

I watched Legolas and Turwethiel and sighed. I missed his friendship. And more than that...I wanted him to know my feelings. Why, oh why, did I have to pick the most unobservant man to fall in love with?

I kicked at a pebble and walked to the edge of the camp, tears finding their way down my cheeks.

Turwethiel's past

I hurriedly climbed a tree, as if trying to escape from something, or rather memories that were like wolves about to devour their prey.

I did not mean to eavesdrop, I just happened to be passing by when I heard Aldarion talking with Rosriel, and it was perfectly obvious to me that...they were in love. That was too much; those simple words broke the wall I had carefully built around my memories, and now they came pouring in like an angry ocean.

“I can’t stand it! I…I…,” I just sobbed as if my heart would break.

My sweet family, my dear Eruadan; never again would I ever see their faces, or hear their voices call my name, or walk through the forest hand in hand with Eruadan. All because of some @#$% orcs! The filth and plague of Middle Earth that destroyed people’s happiness. What wouldn’t I have given to be there, and die alongside my family?

“You couldn’t have saved them Tury,” Legolas said from the base of the tree. I had been talking out loud and not realized it.

“Don’t call me that! That’s his name for me,” I sobbed.

Legolas climbed up beside me and put his arm around me. “Ready to talk about it?”

I nodded my head. “I…I was out on a ride with a friend. It was such a glorious day, but my four brothers could not come with me because they had chores to help Father with. We were gone all day. We came home right before sunset, and saw. I saw my brothers and father slain and my sweet mother shot with a foul, ocr arrow. Everything was destroyed, and the house on fire.” I shuddered, “I ran to them, and was there the whole night, just looking in agony and shock.”

“What about Eruadan?”

“We never found his body, but his sword, shirt, and dagger were found among the ruins. I feel in my heart that he is dead.” I took a deep breath and leaned back against the tree.

Legolas was silent for a while, just letting me think. “I think you are a brave woman, Turwethiel.”

I gave a short laugh, “More like a weak, pathetic, and emotional she-elf.”

“No, you have bourn this burden for almost a year, and yet you did not pull into yourself. You have been grieving, but you gave yourself to helping others. You are strong.”

“Hannon le, Legolas. I feel a little relieved, but still sad. I suppose that will never go away.” With that, I leaned my head against his shoulder, glad that I had some family by me, even though we were only distantly related.

~Turwethiel

(This is most likely my last post, keep me in if you can. Thanks.)

Friends... and Maybe More

The return trip to the rest of the fellowship was quiet, or so it seemed to me. As the camp came in sight, I found my feet moving slower and slower. It had been a few days, but I still did not want to see Aldarion and feel the hurt again.

We drew near and were spotted by our friends. Elanor, Vila and Raewyn ran to meet us and escorted us the rest of the way. They were chattering on about a prank of Lira's and some soup when I saw Aldarion waiting. I tried to ignore him and focus my attention on the story.

"And then we looked at the soup and it was just glowing!" Raewyn giggled. "You should have seen Samdo's face when he went to stir the soup!"

Elenatintil approached us with a smile, "Why don't you girls let them sit down a bit and then continue your story?" She turned to Ella. "Ella, I am so glad you are back. And you, Edroliel," she turned to where the girl was sitting in the hastily constructed wheel chair. "Aldarion has told us about you. I hope you will be better soon."

Edroliel smiled and we moved around the campfire. I said little, doing my best to stay away from Aldarion. My efforts were in vain, and I turned to find him standing close beside me. I looked away.

"Lady Rosriel," he spoke softly. "May I please speak with you for a moment?"

I wanted to turn away, give him a cold shoulder as he had done to me, but I could not. Only when I was very angry could I deliberatly hurt someone. Slowly I met his eyes.

"It will only be for a moment," he looked so pleadingly at me that I could not refuse. I nodded and followed him towards the tents, out of the ear shot of the others. He stopped and took my hand.

"First I wish to make an apology to you. I left without saying good-bye - no, I did worse than that. I deliberatly ignored you, one whom I consider to be a good friend." He sighed. "I would not be surprised if you did not consider me your friend any more."

I looked away. "I was not angry, just... hurt."

Aldarion nodded. "You had every right to be. I wish to ask for your forgiveness, and to give you an explanation as to why I did not want you to question me," he paused, "as well as to answer those questions, if you still want to know."

I drew my hand back and looked at him. "I do wish to know." I tried to laugh. "Curiousity has always been one of my weaknesses. But you do not have to tell me, if you do not..."

"I do wish to tell you." He stopped, as if thinking how to begin. "As I think you guessed Ne- Edroliel and I have met before, in Gondor as we said when we first saw each other back where you found her. My father is Elboron, the son of Faramir, Prince of Ithilian and Eowyn the White Lady of Rohan." He looked at me, as if to gauge my reaction. "All my life, my brothers and I have been judged not by who we are, but who our grandparents are." He gave a short laugh. "'You can do better than that! You are the grandson of Faramir!' 'Master Aldarion, would your grandfather daydream during his history studies? No! Of course not!'"

He paused, and I waited patiently for him to continue.

"It was especially that way with friends. Not so much when we were younger, boys do not care about rank and all that, but as we got older it grew worse. My father is a valiant man in his own right, as well as second in command of the Rangers of Ithilian. All the boys our age wanted to be our friends and then expect us to somehow get them a good position with the Rangers. If we did not or could not, that was it. Friends no longer." He scowled. "Needless to say, we got quite tired of that. It is frustrating... wanting to make a friend, but not knowing if that friend is a true friend or only out for your "influence". Anarion and I finally decided we had had enough and left. Our younger brother, Barahir, stayed behing. Said he would just make friends with the scrolls in the archives." Aldarion looked at me. "That is why Anarion kept our background a secret, when we met up with you. For once we wanted to have friends who liked us for who we are. Anarion was able to convince me that it is alright if we tell you now, that you shall still be our true friends."

I touched his shoulder hesitantly. "I at least, will always be a friend, Aldarion. I forgive you. Thank you... for telling me."

His eyes lit up, "Le hannon, Rosriel." He raised my hand to his lips, and kissed it. "I am honored to be counted amoung your friends." He smiled. "Shall we return to the others?"

My heart was fluttering wildly. "Y- you can." I stammered. "I am going to freshen up, in my tent first."

"Of course." Aldarion bowed, then walked away.

In a daze, I stumbled to the nearest tent, pulled aside the flap and stepped in. I looked down at my hand and touched the spot where Aldarion had kissed me. Finally my head understood what my heart had been trying to tell me for weeks.

I loved him.

~ Rosriel